One of the main (if not the main) differences between human beings and animals is precisely rational thinking. Thanks to this peculiarity, we have arrived in relatively short time to be at the top of the evolutionary scale and achieve everything we currently have. So, thinking should not be so bad, quite the opposite. But What happens when our thoughts create us true discomfort?
- 1 A little story
- 2 When our thinking betrays us
- 3 Thought is subjective
- 4 Find a more constructive thought
A little story
"A woman is making a cake for some guests who will come to dinner at her house tonight. Suddenly he realizes that the mold he was going to use is too small and he needs a bigger one, but he doesn't have it and all the stores are closed. Then remember that your neighbor has one. He will borrow it, but ... a question assails him: what if he doesn't want to leave it? Think about the times you have crossed the stairs and remember that lately you have not been too communicative with her. Maybe she was in a hurry, but maybe she is upset about something she has done. Obviously, if you're upset with her, she won't lend you the kitchen pan. In that case an excuse will be invented and you will not be able to make the cake as you wanted. In case it is believed to be more important because it has something that it now needs? My mother, that is the height of arrogance ... "
In short, the woman could not make the cake she wanted because her thoughts prevented her from going for help. In addition, surely from now on when your neighbor is on the stairs you will greet her from a distant way and let her see your discomfort, thus feeding back a series of misconceptions and preconceived ideas. Unfortunately, for many people many of their thoughts and autodiologists are pernicious to themselves and lead them to make their lives bitter.
When our thinking betrays us
Another example that has happened to all of us on some occasion is not being able to sleep because we go around and around an event that has happened to us, as a problem that we have not been able to solve at work, or a discussion that we have had and in the that then we ask ourselves if we have said the things that we should (maybe we have passed, or vice versa, we could have said something that we have shut up). The point is that, whatever it is, sometimes our own reasoning "betrays" us by creating conflicts that do not exist.
Trying to give meaning to everything around us or anticipate the possible results of our actions is a completely normal process, valid and typical of humans, which most of the time takes place automatically so that we can respond coherently to the stimuli that reach us from abroad. Unfortunately, we must recognize that on many occasions, we cross the border of the healthy to border the pathological, that is when our thinking is based more on prejudiced perceptions than on pure reality, causing considerable anxiety in those who try to rationalize and influence negatively in interpersonal relationships. Logically, this greatly limits the success that can be achieved.
The thought is subjective
All this happens because we so fervently want to find meaning in certain situations or behaviors, that we do not realize that we do not really have enough information to make an objective assessment of what is happening. Then we use our beliefs (which can be more or less accurate and more or less flexible) to explain in a way that is "imaginative", to what on many occasions it would be enough to ask.
Thinking is not bad, it would only be missing. But thinking takes time and a significant investment of energy, and if on top of our mind it is going around thoughts in a useless way and producing negative feelings, it can end up giving rise to the call “yeast effect”, Which occurs when a thought that takes place from a small idea or problem, begins to generate more and more questions, in addition to new relationships of ideas (many of them free and pessimistic), generating negative thoughts that expand, grow and they end up taking over the entire space of our mind.
Understandably, the result of this whole process is exhausting. In addition, far from finding valid answers or solutions to our problems, we end up in an irresoluble spiral species, prisoners of victimistic thoughts ("I will not be able to leave this one", "I am incapable"), anxieties ("tomorrow is going to be a hard day") and feelings of depression ("my life is worthless").
Find a more constructive thought
It is at this moment when we reach the "wise" conclusion that "we think too much", since we are aware that we produce negative ideas incessantly, that are inevitably accompanied by feelings that are also very harmful, that overwhelm us and interrupt our correctness. Daily functioning and our well-being.
Conversely, A thought is positive when it is constructive, creative and provides solutions, but never when it paralyzes or incapacitates us for action. When our thoughts are constructive, they lead us to solve adversities in an orderly and sensible way, and at the end of that process we can stop to relax, immersed in a satisfactory feeling of having closed an issue.
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